As fathers, we often navigate a world full of unsolicited advice—some helpful, some downright misleading. In a candid conversation on the Call With Dads podcast, hosts E. A. Maynard and Mr. Pancakes dive into the lessons they wish they’d learned earlier about marriage, parenting, and life. Their raw reflections offer valuable insights for dads looking to build strong families while sidestepping common pitfalls. Here’s a breakdown of their wisdom, tailored for fathers who want to get it right.
One of the most pervasive pieces of advice young men hear is to “sow your wild oats” before settling down. Both E.a. Maynard and Mr. Pancakes regret buying into this mindset. They argue that chasing fleeting pleasures—partying, casual relationships, or prioritizing personal freedom—creates habits that linger into marriage, making commitment harder.
Mr. Pancakes, a military veteran who traveled extensively in his youth, admits that years of “living it up” left him with temptations that still surface. “I don’t cheat on my wife, but those thoughts are there,” he says, pointing to how early habits shaped his mindset. He wishes he’d focused on finding a partner with shared values, perhaps through community settings like church, instead of delaying commitment.
E.a. Maynard echoes this, sharing how advice to avoid early marriage kept him single into his 30s. “I was so focused on my own needs for nearly 20 years,” he says. “When I finally got married, breaking those habits was a battle.” For dads, the takeaway is clear: don’t let society’s call to “live it up” delay building a meaningful life with your family. Start early, find a partner who aligns with your values, and work together from the get-go.
When it comes to parenting, both hosts tackle the conflicting advice dads often hear: either make your kids your entire world or don’t let them dominate your life. They propose a better approach—prioritize your spouse first to create a stable foundation for your children.
Mr. Pancakes explains, “If you put your child first all the time, you neglect your spouse. That leads to fights, distance, and maybe even divorce—your kid watches all of it.” He argues that treating your wife as #1 strengthens the partnership, which benefits the kids by modeling a healthy relationship. E.a. Maynard agrees, emphasizing that spouses should be a “joint team in the battle of life,” working together to guide their children.
Of course, there are exceptions—like protecting kids from a harmful situation—but the default should be a united front with your spouse. For dads, this means investing in your marriage through communication, shared goals, and time together, even when kids demand attention. A strong partnership isn’t just good for you; it’s the best gift you can give your children.
One surprising topic that struck a chord was nutrition. Both hosts wish they’d known earlier how processed foods impact health, especially for kids. “I thought goldfish crackers were fine,” E.a. Maynard admits. “Then I learned they’re just chemicals and fake flavors.” Mr. Pancakes adds, “Who would’ve thought pancakes every day wasn’t great for kids? It’s not about the pancakes—it’s about time with your family.”
They’ve since shifted to homemade foods, like E.a. Maynard’s weekly bread or pizza dough, and shopping at stores like ALDI, which offers fewer processed options. They warn against labels like “natural flavors” or “concentrates” that hide chemical additives. For instance, E.a. Maynard was shocked to find store-bought bread lasted three weeks without molding, a sign of unnatural preservatives.
For dads, this is a call to action: read labels, prioritize whole and real foods, and consider homemade alternatives. It’s not about perfection—occasional treats like corn dogs are fine—but small changes can prevent health issues often misdiagnosed as behavioral problems, like ADHD.
Another piece of bad advice? Putting work above family. E.a. Maynard notes how coworkers often prioritize drinking or socializing over going home, a habit he finds “tacky” now. “Work is temporary,” he says. “Your family is forever.” Mr. Pancakes agrees, refusing to travel without his family, even when urged to “visit your brother” or pursue hobbies alone.
Dads often hear they must “provide” by grinding at work, but both hosts stress that providing means more than money—it’s about presence. “If you’re miserable at work, you’ll be miserable at home,” Maynard warns. “That’s a fast track to divorce.” Instead, set boundaries at work, prioritize family time, and remember that jobs come and go, but your role as a dad is irreplaceable.
Both hosts carry scars from their upbringings—Maynard from a neglectful biological father, Mr. Pancakes from a culture that glorified fleeting pleasures. They’re determined not to let those “demons” affect their kids. “We have to watch each other,” Maynard says, describing how he and his wife check each other’s parenting to avoid repeating past mistakes.
For dads, this is a reminder to confront your own baggage. Whether it’s a tough childhood or societal pressures, acknowledge how it shapes you and work with your spouse to break harmful cycles. Your kids deserve parents who strive to grow, not ones who coast on autopilot.
Actionable Takeaways for Dads
- Build Early, Build Right: Don’t delay marriage or family for societal myths about “living it up.” Find a partner with shared values and start building a life together sooner rather than later.
- Put Your Spouse First: Strengthen your marriage to create a stable home. Communicate, set shared goals, and carve out time for each other, even with kids in the mix.
- Mind What You Eat: Swap processed foods for homemade or less-processed options. Read labels, avoid chemical additives, and shop at places like ALDI or farmers’ markets.
- Family Over Work: Set boundaries at work and prioritize time with your spouse and kids. Your presence matters more than extra hours at the office.
- Learn from the Past: Reflect on your upbringing and work with your spouse to avoid repeating mistakes. Break harmful cycles for your kids’ sake.
Connect with Call With Dads
E. A. Maynard and Mr. Pancakes aren’t just preaching—they’re living these lessons and sharing them through their platform. Catch their podcast at callwithdads.com, where you’ll find links to their social media (YouTube, Rumble, TikTok, and more). Reach out to Mr. Pancakes at pancakeswithyourdad.com or learn about his nonprofit, focused on traditional family values, at american-liberty-foundation.org.
As dads, we’re bombarded with advice, but not all of it serves our families. By prioritizing your spouse, questioning societal norms, and making intentional choices—like what you feed your kids or how you spend your time—you can build a legacy of love and stability. Take it from E.a. Maynard and Mr. Pancakes: the best advice is the kind you wish you’d gotten sooner.
Have thoughts or questions? Drop a comment below or reach out at callwithdads.com. Let’s keep the conversation going!
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