A livestream with Mr. Pancakes turned into an hour-long gut-check every father needs to hear.We started talking about a simple experiment a tutoring company ran. They gave the exact same hard problem to two groups:

  • Kids aged 8–10 got confused, got frustrated, then said out loud, “Okay, I don’t know this yet… but I can figure it out.” They kept trying and eventually crushed it.
  • Adults got the same confusion and frustration… then pretended nothing was wrong, blamed the game, and never improved.

That hit us both like a 2×4. Why do our seven- and eight-year-olds have more intellectual humility than we do?

Here’s the hard truth we landed on, man-to-man:

  1. Your ego is now bigger than your curiosity
    Kids have almost zero ego invested in being “right.” You and I? We’ve spent decades building a reputation—at work, with our wives, even with our own kids—that says “Dad knows what he’s doing.” Admitting we’re clueless feels like tearing that reputation down. So we fake it, we deflect, we scroll, we numb out. The kid just shrugs and tries again.
  2. Your brain is full of open tabs
    A child’s mind has basically one browser tab open: the problem in front of him.
    Your brain has 47 tabs open, 30 of them frozen, and three are blaring “What if the truck breaks down?” and “Did I lock the back door?”
    No wonder we have zero mental RAM left to learn a new skill or even admit we’re stuck.
  3. Most dads spend less than 15 real minutes a day with their kids
    Yeah, you’re physically in the same house from 6 p.m. to bedtime. But between answering work e-mails, doom-scrolling “racist Instagram reels” (don’t lie, we all do it), and cracking that beer, how many focused, phone-down minutes do your kids actually get?
    Fifteen is being generous for a lot of guys.
  4. Autopilot is killing your growth and your fatherhood
    Come home → collapse → Netflix → sleep → repeat.
    That’s not rest, brother; that’s slow-motion surrender. The blue-collar guys who come home dead tired and still roughhouse with their kids for twenty minutes are lapping the white-collar dads who “need to unwind” for three hours.

So what do we do about it?

  1. Say the sentence out loud this week
    In front of your kid, say, “Daddy doesn’t know how to do this yet, but I’m going to figure it out.” Watch what it does to both of you.
  2. Protect one block of focused time every day
    Even if it’s only 20 undistracted minutes—cooking with them, building Legos, reading, wrestling—give it 100 %. Phones in another room. Your presence is the single biggest predictor of how confident and capable they’ll become.
  3. Treat learning like going to the gym
    You don’t get mad at the barbell for being heavy; you get stronger. Same with anything you suck at right now—finances, grilling the perfect steak, understanding Bitcoin, fixing the drywall. One rep at a time.
  4. Kill the autopilot
    When you feel the urge to zone out on the couch, stand up and do one useful thing—push-ups, read five pages, start the dishes, ask your kid a real question. Momentum beats motivation every time.

Your kids are watching how you handle being bad at something.
Right now they’re learning from you whether “I don’t know yet” is exciting… or shameful.Be the dad who models growth instead of the guy who pretends he’s already got it all figured out.Because the truth is, brother—we still have a lot more to learn.
And the clock’s ticking.– Eric Maynard & Mr. Pancakes
Call With Dad PodcastP.S. If you’re ready to stop coasting and start building something intentional with your family, check out the free Family Constitution course at TraditionalSociety.com. Thousands of dads are already using it to get everyone on the same page. No cost, no excuses.