The Rule of Five is a timeless principle popularized by motivational speaker Jim Rohn: “You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.” This idea, rooted in the law of averages, suggests that your habits, mindset, ambitions, income level, attitudes toward life, and even your character are heavily influenced by your closest circle. The people you surround yourself with don’t just keep you company—they shape who you become.

As dads, this principle hits especially hard. You’re not only building your own life; you’re modeling behavior for your kids every single day. The conversations you have, the values you prioritize, the drive (or lack of it) you show—these things rub off on your children more than any lecture ever could. In a recent episode of the Call With Dads podcast, hosts Eric Maynard and Mr. Pancakes (from pancakeswithyourdad.com) opened up about how this “Rule of Five” played out in their own lives, from youthful mistakes to intentional choices as fathers and husbands. Their raw stories offer powerful lessons for any dad looking to level up.

From Party Life to Purpose: How Influences Shape Us

Eric shared how, in his early 20s, hanging around heavy drinkers and partiers turned him into one too. It wasn’t just peer pressure—it was the natural pull of proximity. The habits, language, and priorities of those around him became his own. But when he shifted to more business-minded, goal-oriented people in an office environment, his focus changed: he started thinking about structure, growth, and long-term success.

Mr. Pancakes echoed this with reflections on old friends still stuck in the same cycles—working dead-end jobs, smoking, drinking, and chasing weekends with no ambition for more. He described pulling away from draining families and friendships that sapped energy and ambition, while actively seeking out real estate buddies and others focused on money, business, parenting, and personal growth.

The key takeaway? Your circle isn’t static. As you grow, it’s okay—and often necessary—to evolve who you spend time with. Old friendships built on shared immaturity may no longer serve you or your family. Protecting your trajectory means making tough calls.

Protecting Your Kids: You Can (and Should) Control Influences—To a Point

One of the most dad-focused parts of the conversation was about kids. Eric emphasized: When they’re young (like his 7-year-old or Mr. Pancakes’ 4-year-old), you absolutely can and should control who they’re around. If a friend or peer group is heading toward trouble—bad habits, negativity, lack of respect—set boundaries. Say no to hangouts, explain why, and be prepared for pushback. Teens might resent it temporarily, but they’ll thank you later when they avoid the hard lessons you learned.

Even as adults, the principle applies to our marriages. Eric credited his wife—a driven accountant focused on making and multiplying money—for elevating his life far beyond his old partying days. She doesn’t drink or chase the scene; instead, she pushes for financial intelligence and growth. That partnership became one of his top “five,” pulling him upward.

Mr. Pancakes noted similar dynamics: surrounding yourself with ambitious, forward-thinking people (even if it means distancing from comfortable but stagnant ones) protects your family and models healthy ambition for your children.

Practical Steps for Dads: Audit and Upgrade Your Circle

  1. List your current top five — Include your spouse/partner, closest friends, key colleagues, or family members you talk to most. Be honest: What habits, attitudes, and values do they represent? Do they challenge you to grow, or keep you comfortable in mediocrity?
  2. Assess the fit — Ask: Are these people pushing toward better parenting, stronger marriages, financial wisdom, faith, health, or business? Or are they stuck in complaints, drinking/smoking routines, or “just getting by”?
  3. Make intentional shifts — Seek out mentors, dad groups, business networks, or communities aligned with your goals (real estate meetups, parenting podcasts, faith-based men’s groups). Reduce time with energy-drainers—not dramatically cutting people off, but politely prioritizing better influences.
  4. Model it for your kids — Talk openly (age-appropriately) about why you choose certain friends or say no to others. Show them that growth means sometimes walking away from what’s familiar but unhelpful.
  5. Remember the spouse factor — Your partner is often #1 in your circle. Choose (or nurture) someone who lifts you and your family higher.

Final Thought: Your Kids Are Watching the Average You’re Becoming

The “Rule of Five” isn’t about judging others—it’s about owning your environment. As dads, we’re not just raising kids; we’re raising the next generation of men and women by the example we live. If your circle is pulling you down, it will pull them down too. But if you’re intentional about surrounding yourself with people who are better parents, better husbands, better providers, and better men—your average rises, and so does theirs.

Audit your five today. Upgrade where needed. Your family deserves the best version of you—and the best influences shaping that version.

Inspired by the Call With Dads podcast episode featuring Eric Maynard and Mr. Pancakes. Check out pancakeswithyourdad.com for more dad-focused content, gear, and resources.